First blog post…
It’s the fear…Fear of the blank page. Fear that no-one will listen. Fear that nobody cares. Fear that in fact I’m a complete loony and should be carted away in case I pollute society with ideas that are half crazed and delusional. Fear of failure, that I want to see a change, but I can’t/won’t have an impact.
Or it’s the guilt….Guilt that I have built a nice life on the proceeds of big capitalism. Guilt that I don’t do more. Guilt that I have bills to pay and a family to feed and I should just focus on my self-interest and make sure my nearest and dearest are looked after. Guilt that I need to get a ‘proper job’.
Or it’s the despair…Despair that there is so much wrong with the world and I have no power to change any of it. Despair that the assumptions we have surrounded ourselves with are so all consuming that we can’t see what is truly important and meaningful. Despair that when faced with adversity one of our tendencies is to go out a buy a box of chocolates, new dress or flat screen TV, or have another glass of wine.
I have no real idea why this seems difficult, but it does.
You can read about me and where I’m coming from in other areas of this website. But I feel this creation needs a small introduction into the world:
“Sally’s blog – born 21st June 2013. Mother and bloglet doing well”?
But that’s never the real truth is it. The birth of something is an arduous process. Delivery was long and tiring and emotional. And messy…they never mention the mess, the blood on the floor. The sheer organic process is brutal. But you don’t see that in the texts or facebook photos. We like to gloss over that and keep it clean with happy smiley faces. Because it’s also a beautiful process, full of hope and dreams and love.
So me and bloglet (we will work on the name later, but Bloglet kind of suits it right now, all squishy and new) are starting out on a new journey together. We want someone to listen and care. We want someone to think just a little bit differently. And no YOU DON’T NEED A NEW FLAT SCREEN!